Friday, November 1, 2013

How to Speak 'Politician'


John K. Herr

So you want to learn how to speak "Politician." Terrific!
First, you'll have to unlearn traditional English, with its emphasis on making rational thoughts clear through words.
Instead, obfuscate with half-truths -- or better yet, quarter- and eighth-truths.
Express righteous indignation over minor matters. Practice your hyperbole.
Disingenuously criticize things you were guilty of a few news cycles ago. Hypocrisy is a feature, not a bug.
And always read from the talking points produced by your party elders and ideological betters.
Remember, politics is a team sport. You're either Red or Blue. Purple is for plums and Prince.
Let's get started!
DEMOCRAT: Rights.
REPUBLICAN: Freedoms.
DEMOCRAT: "Promote the general welfare."
REPUBLICAN: "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
DEMOCRAT: Progressive.
REPUBLICAN: Socialist.
"People begin to see what happens when an entire political party that's drifted into socialism and doesn't hide it anymore, what happens to the country when they get power." -- Rush Limbaugh, The Rush Limbaugh Show
REPUBLICAN: Conservative.
DEMOCRAT: Extremist.
REPUBLICAN: Failure.
DEMOCRAT: Glitch.
REPUBLICAN: Holding people accountable.
DEMOCRAT: Finger-pointing.
"It shouldn't be about having heads roll or firing people, Piers.... That's what his focus is on right now, not on pointing fingers of blame, but making sure that [the website] works." -- Jay Carney, Piers Morgan Live, CNN
DEMOCRAT: End-of-life advisory board.
REPUBLICAN: Death panel.
DEMOCRAT: Greed.
REPUBLICAN: Envy.
DEMOCRAT: Income inequality.
REPUBLICAN: Growth and prosperity.
DEMOCRAT: Closing loopholes.
REPUBLICAN: Raising taxes.
DEMOCRAT: Workers.
REPUBLICAN: Individuals.
DEMOCRAT: Unions.
REPUBLICAN: Labor bosses.
DEMOCRAT: Safety net.
REPUBLICAN: Web of dependence.
DEMOCRAT: Nutrition assistance.
REPUBLICAN: Food stamps.
DEMOCRAT: Nudge.
REPUBLICAN: Coerce.
DEMOCRAT: Right to privacy.
REPUBLICAN: "Leave us alone."
DEMOCRAT: Victims.
REPUBLICAN: Victim mentality.
DEMOCRAT: Disenfranchised.
REPUBLICAN: Inconvenienced.
"It's well-documented that [photo ID] laws disproportionately disenfranchise low-income voters, people of color, students and the elderly, but married women and transgender people (some of whom are married women) are also among those likely to be impacted by the new [Texas] law." -- Katie McDonough, Salon.com
DEMOCRAT: Multiculturalism.
REPUBLICAN: Balkanization.
DEMOCRAT: Transparency.
REPUBLICAN: Leaks.
DEMOCRAT: "Culture of corruption."
REPUBLICAN: "Politics of personal destruction."
(Note: this switches back and forth depending on which party is in trouble)
REPUBLICAN: Liberal media bias.
DEMOCRAT: Corporate-owned media bias.
REPUBLICAN: Objectivity.
DEMOCRAT: False equivalency.
REPUBLICAN: "End our dangerous reliance on foreign oil."
DEMOCRAT: "End our dangerous reliance on fossil fuels."
REPUBLICAN: Carbon dioxide.
DEMOCRAT: "Death gas."
"The Environmental Protection Agency formally declared Monday that carbon dioxide from the burning of fossil fuels poses a threat to human health and welfare." -- Washington Times
DEMOCRAT: Blue Dogs.
REPUBLICAN: RINOs.
DEMOCRAT: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State..."
REPUBLICAN: "...The right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
DEMOCRAT: Modern Family.
REPUBLICAN: Duck Dynasty.
 

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Internal notes indicate only 6 people signed up for ObamaCare on first day

Notes from an Obama administration meeting about the problem-plagued ObamaCare website indicate only six people signed up for the health care law on its first day, according to documents released by the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.
Fox News' Ed Henry told Megyn Kelly on “The Kelly File” Thursday that the documents, released by committee Chairman Rep. Darrell Issa, are not official enrollment numbers, but say that as of the morning of Oct. 2, “six enrollments have occurred so far with five different issuers.”
The notes were taken at a “war room” meeting of the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services, which has been tasked with implementing ObamaCare.
They say that at the next meeting, which took place on the afternoon of Oct. 2, “approximately 100” people had signed up and 248 enrollments had occurred by the morning of Oct. 3.
The Obama administration has thus far not released any official numbers on ObamaCare enrollment, saying the first numbers would be released in mid-November after the HHS collects data from a variety of different sources.
A HHS spokesman told Fox News the documents “appear to be notes,” and do not include official enrollment statistics.
“As the Secretary said before Congress, we are focused on providing reliable and accurate information and we do not have that at this time due to the issues with 834 forms,” Joanne Peters said. “We have always anticipated that the pace of enrollment will increase throughout the enrollment period.”
Health care industry consultant Robert Laszewski told Kelly the numbers are not surprising, saying "clearly the White House does not want insurance companies talking about what's going here."
"And given what was released tonight, the news that so very few people are signing up, you can see why," he continued. "If four weeks ago the enrollment numbers were public it would look very bad. I can tell you based upon the information that I continue to get this trickle of enrollment that you're reporting on for the first three days has really continued for the first month."
The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee received the documents in response to its request to 11 of the contractors involved in the ObamaCare website rollout.

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