America has much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving: Peace, prosperity and what
Abraham Lincoln called the “inestimable blessings” of “the Great Disposer of Events.”
But if you really want to talk about inestimable blessings this year, just ask a political journalist. Hoo, boy…
In a profession where we are accustomed to scrounging
for news, especially in electoral off years, we are operating in a time
of unparalleled abundance with scandals, leaks, partisan fratricide,
shutdown threats and on and on and on.
The
Time of Cofeve
may not be very good for the republic, but it is most certainly
fascinating to cover. When we think back to days in Novembers past spent
trying to scrape together stories on legislative markups and midterm
look-aheads, we are truly grateful for the abundance, even at the
occasional risk to our sanity and our appetites.
It is in the spirit of this horn of plenty of
astonishing stories that we offer this year’s edition of the Halftime
Report Turkey Bowl, recognizing the individuals and organizations that
have found ways, even in these imbecilic times, to stand out for their
lapses.
To our winners, we say thank you for making it easy. To our readers, we offer our apologies in advance.
WORST BOOK TOUR: HILLARY CLINTON (REPEAT WINNER)
The 2016 Democratic nominee has had a rough decade,
professionally speaking. And one would have thought that losing a second
presidential campaign to a candidate even more unlikely than the first
one might have been enough to cure
Hillary Clinton of politics for good. But, alas...
Determined to reshape a fast-hardening narrative about
her campaign (incompetent, overpriced and disconnected) and herself
(scandal-soaked and entitled), Clinton has been grinding it out on the
book circuit for months like someone whose family didn’t profit to the
tune of more than $100 million in the 16 years since they left the White
House.
But a defeated presidential candidate looking to
re-write history isn’t a brand new idea. What makes Clinton’s book tour
stand out are mostly events beyond her control.
Clinton could not have known that just about the time
she was warming up for her book signings and radio interviews that her
longtime friend and benefactor,
Harvey Weinstein, was about the immolated in a napalm bath of sexual misconduct accusations.
That could have been icky, but what made it a debacle
was the fact that the Weinstein allegations kicked off a whole new round
of accusations and, ultimately, a reconsideration of her husband’s own
misconduct. Democrats who had once tolerated or ignored her husband’s
alleged mistreatment of women moved unambiguously toward blame and
denunciation. And all the while, Clinton was on camera.
She hit the road hoping to cover her offenses as a
candidate. She will come home with her and her husband’s roles in
opening the way for the
Roy Moores of the world an accepted part of political conventional wisdom.
WORST SOCIAL MEDIA MOMENT: SENATOR CRUZ ‘LIKES’
Back in September, a late-night “like” from Sen. Ted
Cruz’s account appeared for a tweet containing fetish porn. Cruz later
pointed a finger at a member of his staff for the
unfortunate like,
but didn’t throw the Twitter lurker under the bus. Cruz also tried to
be a good sport, saying that they should have “done something like this
during the Indiana primary.” But, to be fair, Cruz also had a pretty
epic win back in January. After Politico ran a piece that mentioned that
the senator
played basketball
on a weekly basis, the sports website Deadspin called him out wanting
proof. In turn, Cruz tweeted a photo of his younger doppelgangers, Duke
guard
Grayson Allen writing with it, “What do I win?” The
Twitterverse erupted in praise for Cruz, claiming him the winner of this
small yet mighty Twitter war. Deadspin didn’t take the loss lightly,
responding back with a simple, “Go eat s–t.”
WORST LAUNDRY BILL: STEVE BANNON
Fashion forward or a fashion faux pas?
President Trump’s former chief strategist
Steve Bannon likes to layer. Why dies a man leading a populist revolt want to dress like a villain from a
John Hughes
movie? There’s no clear answer. Some say he picked up the trend from
his time at military prep school and others say he calls it “
beach fashion.”
His spokesperson made it very clear, however, that’s it never just one
and rarely just two shirts. Three is Bannon’s lucky number... truly a
“layering extremist.” He always has extra shirts on hand, specifically
at Breitbart’s headquarters.
WORST OUTERWEAR DEPLOYMENT: GEORGE W. BUSH
The 43
rd president of the United States stole the show of the inauguration with and his costar: his rain poncho. Former president
George W. Bush
struggled with the plastic sheet for several minutes until he
ultimately gave up and simply wrapped it around his head. But, he wasn’t
the only one to struggle with his rain poncho. Looking closer at photos
from the event one will notice that his mother, former first lady
Barbara Bush, also
seemed confused by the rain protector. Maybe it’s a genetic thing? The takeaway: 43 should stay away from ponchos. Vanity Fair noted that this
isn’t the first time
the former president struggled with this article of clothing. In 2009,
while in Lima, he was caught on camera having similar struggles while
sporting a traditional Peruvian poncho.
WORST RELOCATION: JAVANKA
Jared Kushner and
Ivanka Trump made it no
secret that they were house hunting in the nation’s capital after
Election Day. They were poised to become a power couple par excellence
and take Washington by storm. Instead, missteps and scandals have, ten
months after inauguration, left the couple
labeled as the “exiles on Pennsylvania Ave.” Kushner has reportedly
told friends that he and his wife debate going back to New York every few months.
WORST ASTRONOMICAL TOURISM: STEVEN MNUCHIN
Many Americans traveled from their homes to be able to
watch the historic moment of this summer’s eclipse at its peak. But how
about Secretary of the Treasury
Steven Mnuchin and his wife,
Louise Linton? Reports show the couple
flew to Kentucky on a government plane that day, ostensibly to visit Senate Majority Leader
Mitch McConnell,
who just happens to live right along the path of the totality of the
eclipse. Mnuchin claimed he had no interest in the eclipse because he’s a
New Yorker. According to Politico he said, “You know, people in
Kentucky took this stuff very serious,” followed by, “Being a New
Yorker... I was like, the eclipse? Really? I don’t have any interest in
watching the eclipse.” Despite his expressed Northeastern blasé, though,
the
picture told the tale.
Further compounding the error: The secretary’s wife
posted a photo of herself on Instagram, including hashtags of all of the
expensive articles of clothing she was sporting on their day trip to
Kentucky. Unable to
take the heat
from an Instagram user’s comment, Ms. Linton lost her cool and replied
with a condescending remark, belittling the user. Linton got a big
thumbs down from everyone else for that one.
But the real loser of the Mnuchin-Linton eclipse outing: Former Health Secretary
Tom Price.
The hubbub over the Treasury trip got reporters checking on cabinet
members’ private jet usage and Price turned out to be a serial offender.
After that, the doctor was out.
WORST BEACH DAY: CHRIS CHRISTIE
Let’s go to the beach… oh wait. New Jersians couldn’t because Gov.
Chris Christie
shut it down. Amid the state government shutdown, Christie was able to
catch some rays at the Island Beach State Park over the Fourth of July
holiday weekend. Christie was asked about a rumored outing and scoffed
at the notion. “I didn't get any sun today.” Ruh-roh. He got busted in
the act when
aerial photos
revealed Christie, his wife and other family members lounging on the
beach. Christie’s defense: “He did not get any sun. He had a baseball
hat on,” said communications director
Brian Murray.
WORST HAPPY HOUR: HOUSE REPUBLICANS
Let’s go back to May, to the “beginning of the end of ObamaCare” as Vice President
Mike Pence called it. And Republicans were ready to party like it was officially repealed. Cases of beer were
rolled through the halls
of the capitol building heading toward a GOP conference meeting. Later
that day in the White House Rose Garden, President Trump beamed with
pride, soaking in what he deemed as his accomplishment. Yet here we are
six months later...
WORST LEAKER: ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI
It’s funny how much of a difference the three simple words “off the record” make. What a ten days
Anthony Scaramucci had working in the White House. The New Yorker’s
Ryan Lizza
recorded a phone call he had with the then-White House communications
director. Initiating the call, Mooch went on to dish to Lizza about
White House leakers, telling him he wasn’t afraid to “eliminate everyone
in the comms team and [we’ll] start over.” He particularly aimed blame
at then-White House Chief of Staff
Reince Priebus. He also said
that Trump adviser Steve Bannon engaged in a physiological
impossibility… But what he never said to Lizza was those three magic
words, so Lizza did what any good journalist would do and he wrote
an article. What has the Mooch been up to since his White House ten day tenure? He’s keeping busy showing off his
vocal cords.
[
Ed. note: You may remember newspapers. As my son
explained to his little brother, “It’s like they printed out the
Internet so you can read it.” I got my start writing nighttime sports
for my hometown paper when I was 17. I was a goner from the first. Part
of what I loved about newspapering was the continuity – the musty old
files of clips that reached back generations, making a record of who we
were and how we became what we are. “Older than the state itself,” read
the banner at the top of Page One. My favorite Thanksgiving newspaper
tradition has for decades been that paper’s annual republishing of the
same perfect column about the holiday by the late Adam Kelly, known to his readers as “the country editor.” I was privileged to have his son, Bob,
a great newsman himself, as my mentor when I later learned my way
around politics in Charleston, W.Va. They talk about Washington being a
swamp. But trust me, if you can wrestle the political gators on the
Kanawha River, you can cover politics anywhere in the world. Bob, who
was taken from us far too young, taught a generation of newspapermen and
newspaperwomen how to take our jobs seriously without taking ourselves
seriously – to be skeptics without becoming cynics. It’s no mean feat
when the world entices you always to see the story in first person
rather than keeping the proper sense of first doing your duty to your
country and your readers. The key to that, I’ve learned through
hard-bought wisdom, is to begin with gratitude. If I count the blessings
in my life, I can start to see how much more I have than I deserve.
Understanding that makes us kinder, more gracious and, most importantly,
less selfish. Bob’s father’s column, offered here by
another newspaper, is properly called a litany, which is a kind of
prayer where congregants respond to the preacher in the pulpit. The word
“litany” descends from Greek, where its root “litaneia” means
“entreaty.” My entreaty to you is that you read Adam Kelly’s good, old
words and meditate on your blessings. I know I don’t enjoy today every
blessing its author did; nor do you, probably. But we can all claim many
of them as Americans. And if we could really all count our blessings,
one suspects that we would be a people more inclined to mercy, more
given to self-sacrifice and more committed to building up than tearing
down. Fox News Halftime Report is pausing for the holiday and will
resume publication Monday. In the meantime, I wish you and your families
bounty and blessings, but most of all, the gift of gratitude,
especially in the face of adversity.]
