The Morning Briefing: The Quiet, Captivating Genius of Kamala Harris 😲

Top O' the Briefing

Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Chullahnisc preferred that his weekends be focused on cheese-filled snack options and inconsequential pants. 

Let's make it light and mostly fun, then run headlong towards the weekend. I've got family coming down from Tempe today and we're going out for tacos. 

 It is impossible to avoid mocking the Democrats these days. Yes, they're infuriating, but, in their most clown car-ish moments, it's important to make fun of them. The Dem clown car has a bunch of buffoonish cartoon characters pouring out of it here in 2025. When I read about them during the work days, it's as if every news source has turned into a satire site.

So much of what the United States went through when the desiccated husk of Joe Biden was playing president had a surreal, dystopian hellscape quality to it. One of the more nightmarish things we had to endure was having the demonstrably unstable Kamala Harris one heartbeat away from the presidency when the president seemed like he may not have many heartbeats left. 

While the Dems' flying monkeys in the mainstream media were pretending that Biden was "sharp as a tack," they were also carrying on the fiction that Kamala Harris was deep, intellectual, and qualified for the job. They doubled-down on the idea that she was a woman of substance when she was installed as the Democratic nominee after Biden shuffled off with his baggie of Cheerios. 

Again, the Democrats act as if none of us has internet. 

We all saw Harris for four years. Rare was the occasion when she could string together three coherent sentences. Typically, she would get stuck on a word or phrase and then repeat it. I called it the hamster wheel in her brain. Once she realized that she wasn't getting off the wheel, she would begin gesticulating wildly, as if that made everything clearer. 

Then the cackling would begin. 

This pattern was repeated pretty much every time Madame Veep got withing sniffing distance of a camera. 

Good news America, there is a completely different Kamala Harris when the cameras are off, according to Rachel Maddow. This is from Matt:

Of course, Maddow made it clear that she's only interacted with Kamala Harris "a handful of times" in private settings. "I'm not, like, friends with Vice President Harris," Maddow claimed up front. "I've spoken to her a handful of times in non-public settings, you know, like in preparing for interviews, you know, or at the White House or whatever. But it's not like we have a close personal relationship." Yet somehow, from these limited glimpses, Maddow claims she's discovered the real Kamala, someone who's apparently "sharper and more blunt, and honestly more cutting, and more incisive, than she is when she knows the cameras are rolling."

Cool story, huh? Harris has been a prominent public figure for almost 26 years but she's somehow just never gotten comfortable in front of a camera. If she'd been elected president, all we would have had to do was keep her out of the public eye and she may very well have been the next Abraham Lincoln.

Maddow is so deep inside of her bubble that she doesn't realize that her water-carrying services for Kamala Harris are no longer required. Every Democrat except Kamala Harris has moved on from Kamala Harris. Rachel doesn't need to play make believe anymore. At least not for Harris. She should rest up for all of the work she'll have to do for Gavin Newsom or whichever white guy the party of youth and diversity ends up running in 2028.

I'll leave you with a little extra entertainment this Friday morning. Maddow's tale of Kamala Harris's behind the scenes brilliance reminded me of this classic Phil Hartman Saturday Night Live sketch. Oh, Phil, we miss you.